To The Colors That Never Run/Surviving The Nightmare

Ladies and gentlemen that still see fit to read this blog, I would like to offer up a toast.

Not to Obama, but to you. All of you people of the United States that have made it through the eight year nightmare of inept leadership. Yes, Bush is at last out of office.

Here's to America, those of us that have survived against eight years of madness.
Here's to the Children of America that have given their lives overseas, and those that lived now face nightmares we, the civilian populace, can never understand.
Here's to Freedom, may that word no longer be abused by tyrants.

So please, join me as I raise my glass to all of you who have lived and died, wept and smiled over these previous years. Let us not stop, but forge onward to the future with resolve to better our nation and to heal the wounds suffered by both our nation and the world.


Personally, I've also got my fingers crossed that the new guy is everything he's cracked up to be.

I'm Sick of Politics

This election season is one of the most polarizing I've ever seen in my entire life. People on both sides have just gone plain crazy over the candidates of their choice, and it's gotten under my skin in ways that usually call for metaphors involving flesh-eating parasites, broken glass, and Barbara Streisand.

I don't think I need to go into the Republican candidates at this point. McCain's senile and Palin is f*cking scary, we know that. But what really is bringing my vomit to a boil is the genuflecting before the image of St. Politico, The Second Coming, His Holiness the New Messiah, Barack Hussein Obama.

First, the disclaimer: I'm not venting spleen so much about Obama or anything he's done. The people that are pissing me off right now are the supporters.

I swear, the obnoxiousness, self-righteousness, and self-aggrandizment that surrounds these people like the stench of a dead skunk festering under the porch for a week is sickening. Everywhere I go, I see posters up with halos around his head. I hear people talking excitedly about how he's so great and will fix the vast pile of sh*t that America has become. "Change" this and "in touch with the people" that, and blah blah blah I've heard all this crap before from the last Democrat that ran for president.

But, why can't I help but think of the scene in Idiocracy when the president introduces the smartest man in the world and says he'll fix the economy, bring life back to the crops, and make sure everyone has their fair share of fries, all in one week?

I ask you one serious question people: do you seriously think anyone, ANYONE, can achieve a position of power in American politics and not have skeletons in his closet? A politician is a politician is a politician. Is a liar. A lying sack of rot. I've never known people to actually trust politicians any other time of the year, so why in the hell are they so trusting now? Everywhere I turn, there's someone else trying to convince me that he's the best thing to happen to the United States since the Bill of Rights.

To be fair, maybe he doesn't have as many skeletons in his closet as other candidates do. And I really don't care about whether or not he's the best choice; I just want to stop hearing about it.

Enough with the bullsh*t, and stop blowing sunshine about how great a politician is up my @$$. Keep doing what you're doing, and I'm voting for McCain just to piss you off.

In any event, I try to insert humor with every post, so here's a little site called Pundit Kitchen. Enjoy.



Can't wait for the next two months to be over with so you twats on both sides of the fence will finally shut up.

Just some quoting

"You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the great struggle for independence."

-Charles Austin Beard (attrib.)

Mr. Beard is rolling in his grave right now. I can guarantee it.

Mr. Kucinich, I Salute Your Big Brass Balls for This

http://www.reuters.com/article/middleeastCrisis/idUSN09301988

Dennis, if you were running, I would vote for you. But, alas, the Dems decided to go with the bickering children instead of the guy that puts his money where his mouth is.

The man stood up and did what no one else had the balls to do. Just think, he got railroaded in the primaries for being a nutcase. Same thing happened to Ron Paul. Here's my dream ticket: Paul/Kucinich '08! Or, Kucinich/Paul '08! Either way, I don't care. Chances of that happening: 0%, but hey, a man can dream, can't he?

Politics is mush

Okay, time for some dumping ground stuff regarding Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton. I found this fantastic little quote from the comments section of this blog:

If she couldn't beat a first term senator named Hussein, how in the world does she expect to beat a war hero?

Unfortunately, there is no one to credit for this amazing truth. The wit who came up with this cut to the core, and I offer him or her applause.

November will be here sooner than you think. To be honest, I'm not looking forward to it. I can't help but feel that no matter who wins the election we will be the real losers.

The Ubiquitious Mr. Hotdog

Hot dogs. Us carnivores love them. "Why?" is not the question. There are no questions; there is only hot dog.

There are many ways to prepare to the hot dog. With the coming of Summer, millions of my countrymen will drag out their grills and pretend they know how to cook something without making it resemble the charcoal briquettes used to cook it in the first place. I suppose that's better than microwaving their dogs. Microwaving makes the meat taste funny and makes for a rather deformed looking frank. Not exactly good choices either way, yes? However, an overlooked and underrated hot dog cooking method is boiling.

Boiling has several benefits. By being immersed in water, the meat cooks more evenly, resulting in a uniformly pleasant texture. The dog will emerge from the pot delightfully plump. The other benefit to boiling your hot dogs is the natural cleansing effect the hot water has on the dog. Boiling helps remove some of the nitrates from the dog, making the dog (slightly) healthier than grilling, and no doubt a hell of a lot healthier than using that molecular-structure-altering microwave.

Bear in mind my faithful readers, every year millions of your fellow American citizens make the mistake of not boiling their hot dogs. Don't be one of them. Boil those dogs.

...Your Peers; or Hope There's At Least One Person That Believes In Doing His Civic Duty

Most of us react with disgust when we thumb through the mail and see that dreaded "IMPORTANT: Jury Summons Enclosed." It typically means phone calls with fingers crossed in hope that your number is not called, and, if your number is called, sitting in a muggy room with a fantastic cross section of American idiocy. Ghastly.

But here's a shocker for you all: I actually like the idea of serving jury duty. Aside from the fact that it gets my depressed and unemployed arse out of the house for a day or two, it also pays. But that is pale in comparison to the fact that you have the power to fight back against the tide of "Hang 'Em High!" morons that seem to forget that your fellow man is innocent until proven guilty. The state has to prove that the defendant committed a crime, and so many people seem to forget that this is the basis of American justice. The burden of proof is not on the heads of the accused.

Last time I served on a jury, I had to remind my fellow jurors of this, at least several times. When all was said and done, we came to the conclusion that the state did a piss-poor job at proving anything other than the prosecutor being a Hang 'Em High! Dunce. Welcome to Gitmo, NY.

Okay, that last comment was harsher than necessary. But is it that much of a stretch? The mentality of the prosecution and law enforcers being to get the guy behind bars no matter whether or not the state has enough evidence to actually prove he did a damn thing? The worst part is that the people fall for it. An accusation is not proof. With the crimes that make the headlines these days, we need to be especially careful. The first thing that comes to mind when we hear the expression "sex offender" is of some ghoulish pervert that has done indescribable pain to another human being. Before we saddle someone with such a life-ruining tag, we better make damn f#cking sure they actually did something to warrant being haunted and hated forever by those around him/her.

So, my fellow Americans, be not miserable when that letter arrives. Bear in mind that someone may be innocent, and it's your job to make sure the state doesn't simply tell you whether or not your fellow man is a criminal. Be skeptical, be watchful, and be critical of everything you see and hear. It's your civic duty; perform it with some pride.