Reruns

Dug this one up from another site where I post crap.

Finished off Hey Rube last night. One of the things that sticks in my mind is how Thompson (like every other American with liberal leanings) would have bet that Dubya would be out after one term. Considering the mess he made of the country in as little as three years, it's a bet no one would have taken. How wrong the Doc was. Never mind the man backstage pulling strings...

My conclusion is that The Man Behind The Curtain is really a Field Trauma Specialist, and he's armed with 5,000 metric tons of Bandaids. That's the only thing keeping this administration going.

But let's forget his ineptness in office for a minute and consider that if you were throwing a 5-keg party, you'd probably invite him. Not only would he come, he'd have another five kegs in the back of his pickup. He'd be the first to do a keg stand, the one telling all the racy jokes, the first to volunteer his own wallet to keep the party going, and the last to pass out. This is a discussion I've had with some of the poets: while we hate what has happened to our country, we'd actually like to sit down and chat with the man.

Why? Because he's a barrel of laughs. A party animal. The All-American Idiot Frat Boy armed with more booze than Common Sense. He was always the life of the Party. It's part of why he won... his charisma (and crooked voting machines, but that's a topic that has been beaten into the ground).

Face it: Gore could have been replaced by a robot and no one would have noticed, and Kerry looked like he was dug up and stitched back together. One will put you to sleep and the other makes children cry when he smiles. No charisma, no Oval Office. Slick Willie Clinton would have wiped the floor with Bush based on charisma alone (what the hell, he did that to Bush Sr., why not get the son too?), even after the Lewinsky scandal, assuming they were running against each other.

That's my rant for the day: next Presidential Primary, vote for the guy with charisma in the party of your choice. Never run a dullard, even when the incumbent is a total failure.

-Originally written September 27th, 2006.

All the Good Ones Are Shuffling Loose

George Carlin, I will miss you. You were the only decent stand-up comedian. The only one that mattered. A genius in your own right.

What are we left with? Dane Cook? Please excuse me while I deposit my partially-digested dinner in the toilet.

We are losing all the best artists and thinkers. There are few worthwhile to step in and fill those shoes. How many have we lost these past few years? It's hard to keep track.

Please, my favorite artists, writers, actors, musicians: hold on as long as you can. Don't leave us with dreck.

Just some quoting

"You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the great struggle for independence."

-Charles Austin Beard (attrib.)

Mr. Beard is rolling in his grave right now. I can guarantee it.

Mr. Kucinich, I Salute Your Big Brass Balls for This

http://www.reuters.com/article/middleeastCrisis/idUSN09301988

Dennis, if you were running, I would vote for you. But, alas, the Dems decided to go with the bickering children instead of the guy that puts his money where his mouth is.

The man stood up and did what no one else had the balls to do. Just think, he got railroaded in the primaries for being a nutcase. Same thing happened to Ron Paul. Here's my dream ticket: Paul/Kucinich '08! Or, Kucinich/Paul '08! Either way, I don't care. Chances of that happening: 0%, but hey, a man can dream, can't he?

Defending Freedom? You Couldn't Defend Your Own Intelligence!

I really hate to bust on veterans only a week and a half after Memorial Day. But I am honestly sick of every veteran on the internet getting up in arms whenever someone criticizes the current administration, the job said administration is doing overseas, war, and soldiers in general.

The catchphrase that I have seen ad nauseum is something to the effect of, "We fought to defend your freedom, so blahdidee blah blah." I find this a curious expression. Aside from the fact that it sounds like it came verbatim from a recruiting advertisement or a neocon politician, I ask, "How does one defend an abstract concept?" Freedom isn't a physical thing you can hold in your hand; it's not a fortress with ramparts to throw boiling oil over the walls at the attacking barbarians. Freedom is one of those fantastic ideas the definition of which philosophers have battled over for thousands of years. What is Freedom? I could babble until blue in the face over the notion, it's constant battle with Determinism, etc. but let's stick to the concrete.

So, what exactly have our brave soldiers defended all this time? Certainly not their ability to think for themselves ("Freedom of thought?" I sarcastically ask). Our armed forces have been fighting for Security. Yes, security. Not some vague idea regarding the human condition, but the very real, physical act of protecting the nation from threats foreign and domestic. That's what the military of any nation is meant for, not cooking up some notion of "defending freedom." Leave freedom to the philosophers.

Why the confusion? Why the blatant regurgitation of military recruiting pamphlets? Well, I answer that freedom is something everyone can rally around. It's a desire of all people, everywhere. Who doesn't like to be free? Free from an oppressive government, free to make your own choices regarding your body and way of life, free to read whatever pleases you.* Uncle Sam says, "You're defending FREEDOM!" What argument can anyone make against that? Such a basic ideal that so many strive for; who wouldn't want to fight for freedom? Now toe the line, sucker.

What have our soldiers secured? Neither freedom, nor security (at least not in the past couple decades). Apparently, none of them are familiar with Ben Franklin and his famous writing. Unfortunately, most of my countrymen aren't familiar with Franklin's writing, or his delightful witticisms.

I understand that many soldiers and sailors and marines don't think this way. But the marching-in-line fanatics make the armed services look bad. Please, if you or someone you love fell for the smokescreen of "Freedom," set them straight and explain that concepts can't be defended save by words; the armed forces have a different duty to perform.




*Fancy how those freedoms are slipping away on this side of the pond.