2010

Happy fucking New Year.

Here's to another 12 miserable months.

Okay, fine, I'll stop being so cynical. Something good has to happen, and I'll be damned if I don't try in this new year, this extra opportunity to make it good, this galactic 1-up that comes around to say, "Yes, another year has died; but you have many more levels to go before you sleep. Your princess is always in another castle."

So here's to you, and another 12 months on this Planet Earth. God bless you, you fantastic bastards.




Christ I'm drunk.

The Travesty of Butchered Typewriters

There's something that's been bothering me lately. I know that steampunk fashion is fascinating and all that, but I cannot in any way condone or understand why people insist on cutting the keys off of vintage typewriters so they can turn them into jewelry.

Here and now, 2009 and counting, and there are few who appreciate the well-crafted mechanics of the vintage typewriter. I remember when I purchased my 1940s Smith Corona Silent on eBay how several sellers for similar typewriters outright refused to cut off the keys, so at least I am comforted that a few respect the craftsmanship of these antiques.

As someone that looks to these pieces of history for the beauty of their craftsmanship, I can only liken this dreadful idiocy to killing buffalo solely to cut out their tongues and skin them, leaving the carcass to rot on the plains. While the American buffalo has survived such a drive to near-extinction, typewriters don't have the ability to breed. Fine examples of mechanical excellence don't grow on trees. When the supply of vintage typewriters has run out, there will be no source for your silly jewelry.

Why has no-one thought of making reproduction typewriter keys for the sole purpose of arts and crafts? Why insist on ruining antiques that will someday soon be in such short supply that collectors will be smashing your heads against brick walls for what you have done? It's bad enough they are expensive as all hell as it is.

I could understand if the typewriters they were defacing were already irreparably damaged, but we're talking about machines that are pretty much blocks of solid steel. It takes a lot of abuse to ruin them to the point where they are worthless except for what can be done with their parts. Have any of these people considered perhaps using the typewriter for its intended purpose rather than simply defacing it for parts for necklaces and cuff links?

I love my typewriter, and you better keep your hands off it. Try to cut the keys off my Smith Corona and I'll be cutting off your fingers to make jewelry.


Picture from Vintage Typewriter Shoppe